I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I will be naked everywhere
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
that is very illegal...i love you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
