I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
