i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize