you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
