Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize
