You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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