East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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