Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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