Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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