I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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