Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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