Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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