Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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