Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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