If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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