oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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