Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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