brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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