Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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