I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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