just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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