nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
