I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
