this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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