two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize