you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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