O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
