I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
