I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize