Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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