my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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