is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
