I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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