My room smells like vodka and shame
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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