I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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