I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
