True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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