my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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