i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
