I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
