take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
