his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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