Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
