You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
