you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize