I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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