Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
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The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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