OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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