I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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