Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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