just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
There's even glitter on my cock...
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