weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
