he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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