They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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