Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
