CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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