you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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