after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
