Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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