WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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