the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
